Living band

This is the Dairy Service. Stand by for four groups. three one four zero eight. seven seven two six one. zero four nine three five. two one eight zero six. I repeat. three one four zero eight. seven seven two six one. zero four nine three five. two one eight zero six. The blue lamp is still burning. Leave the gate as you found it. The last delivery has not arrived. End of message. End of transmission.

This is the Dairy Service. Stand by for four groups. zero nine two one seven. six six three zero four. one eight five two nine. four zero seven seven three. I repeat. zero nine two one seven. six six three zero four. one eight five two nine. four zero seven seven three. There are hints in the pauses. Count the empty chairs. The blue lamp belongs in the northern window. End of message. End of transmission.

This is the Dairy Service. Stand by for four groups. five eight one three zero. two zero eight four six. nine nine four one two. seven three zero zero five. I repeat. five eight one three zero. two zero eight four six. nine nine four one two. seven three zero zero five. The last delivery was addressed to nobody. Keep the wrapping. The platform clock is six minutes slow. End of message. End of transmission.

This is the Dairy Service. Stand by for four groups. four two seven one nine. zero zero six eight two. three five one zero four. nine six eight two zero. I repeat. four two seven one nine. zero zero six eight two. three five one zero four. nine six eight two zero. The milk train no longer stops here. Listen after the third bell. Someone has remembered the blue lamp. End of message. End of transmission.

Bracken Mere Regional Airport. Aerodrome weather, H F relay. Wind zero six zero degrees magnetic, seven knots. Visibility greater than ten kilometres. Cloud few at four thousand feet. Temperature eighteen, dew point nine degrees Celsius. Q N H one zero two one hectopascals. Outlook, fine weather with light easterly winds. No significant change. End of report.

Bracken Mere Regional Airport. Aerodrome weather, H F relay. Wind zero three zero degrees magnetic, three knots. Visibility two kilometres in mist. Cloud broken at six hundred feet. Temperature nine, dew point eight degrees Celsius. Q N H one zero two three hectopascals. Outlook, mist slowly clearing, visibility above ten kilometres and cloud lifting to two thousand feet. End of report.

Bracken Mere Regional Airport. Aerodrome weather, H F relay. Wind two one zero degrees magnetic, twelve knots. Visibility six kilometres in light rain showers. Cloud scattered at fifteen hundred feet, broken at three thousand feet. Temperature fifteen, dew point twelve degrees Celsius. Q N H one zero one three hectopascals. Outlook, occasional showers, with visibility briefly reducing to four kilometres. End of report.

Bracken Mere Regional Airport. Aerodrome weather, H F relay. Wind two seven zero degrees magnetic, twenty two knots, gusting thirty four knots. Visibility five kilometres in rain. Cloud broken at twelve hundred feet, overcast at twenty five hundred feet. Temperature twelve, dew point nine degrees Celsius. Q N H one zero zero five hectopascals. Outlook, front moving east, winds easing and rain becoming scattered showers. End of report.

Bracken Mere Regional Airport. Aerodrome weather, H F relay. Wind two four zero degrees magnetic, eleven knots. Visibility greater than ten kilometres. Cloud scattered at three thousand feet, broken at six thousand feet. Temperature fourteen, dew point seven degrees Celsius. Q N H one zero one two hectopascals. Outlook, showers clearing to the east, cloud decreasing and pressure rising. End of report.

Bracken Mere Regional Airport. Aerodrome weather, H F relay. Wind zero one zero degrees magnetic, one knot, nearly calm. Visibility greater than ten kilometres. Cloud few at eight thousand feet. Temperature seven, dew point five degrees Celsius. Q N H one zero two four hectopascals. Outlook, light winds overnight, with shallow mist possible near the mere towards dawn. End of report.

Radio Free Rind calling from the far end of the dial. Good evening, wherever your aerial is tied. Three new records have just arrived, all from the Benson Orchestra of Chicago. Tonight we are testing the floorboards. First up, Chili Bean. There is a bass saxophone lurking down below the band, and I should not trust it with the furniture.

That was Chili Bean. The floorboards are still with us, though the biscuit tin has moved six inches. Our next arrival is Railroad Blues, another Benson Orchestra number. Listen for the low reed pushing against the rest of the band. A train with this much sideways motion would never pass inspection.

This is Radio Free Rind. All the culture, none of the rind inspection. Our final new find from Chicago is called San. The Benson Orchestra again, with a rhythm that refuses to sit properly in its chair. If you have been saving your best shoes, now would be an excellent time to reconsider.

Three new discoveries from Chicago, and the floorboards have survived by a narrow majority. This has been Radio Free Rind. Thanks for lending us your loudspeaker. We are folding the aerial before the landlord hears that bass saxophone. Good night, and leave a little room between the stations.

Radio Free Rind is on the air. The transmitter is balanced on a biscuit tin, and three new records have just arrived with enough wooden lightning to wake the kitchen. We begin with La Veeda, by the Green Brothers' Novelty Band. Those bright, quick notes are the xylophones. Someone has taught the furniture to answer back.

The Green Brothers, and La Veeda. Now for another discovery, simply called Marimba. Ted Levy, Howard Rattay and William Reitz are among the players. A whole conversation in wooden bars, and nobody waiting politely for a turn. Put the cups somewhere steady; this record seems determined to rearrange them.

Radio Free Rind. Broadcasting without the permission of the cheese board. One more fresh arrival: The French Trot, from the All Star Trio Orchestra. Listen for the bright percussion darting around the horns. They call it a trot, but the kitchen table has already broken into a gallop.

The French Trot brings our wooden lightning edition to a close. Three new records, two displaced teaspoons, and one very nervous kitchen table. This is Radio Free Rind, putting the needle away and returning the biscuit tin. Keep listening in the gaps. We shall turn up somewhere. Good night.